thelittleone's Blog

@Pringletot

At 15, I was probably just like you. Middle to upper middle class. However, I think how my parents raised me has a lot to do with how I think now. My parents might have been more well off, but it's because they worked...and they worked hard...every single day. They worked hard to give me a home and food and shelter and books and toys and anything you can imagine. But see, they didn't just give me whatever I wanted without my having to earn it at some point or another. I did chores. I had to keep up my grades. If they asked me to do something, I did it. I might have been given opportunities that many don't get (like getting to go to university) but I don't take these things for granted, and I think that's the difference. It's okay to be fortunate and have money and be of a family with hardworking parents who have earned every penny they have. My parents weren't given anything. Everything they have they've built themselves, and I can only hope to be as successful as they are. But the point is that once you're able to afford luxuries and be successful (I find the word 'successful' problematic though... what does it really mean?) ...you should also be able to appreciate 'luxuries' or things that don't or shouldn't come so often. So that when they do come around, they mean something. Like a vacation, or a new car.

The reason you feel that way is because society is so material-driven that we're desensitized to it now. Nothing is ever special anymore. We're constantly buying and consuming, so that we don't appreciate these things anymore because they've become commonplace and we take them for granted. Take for example, I know the univeristy I go to, the girls all carry these Coach purses. They're pretty expensive. But EVERY girl has one. And not just one, many of them. And I see these girls throw these bags around and drop them on the floor, get them dirty, whatever. Because they know that daddy will just buy them a new one. So it becomes that our constant buying of stuff makes these things less special to us, and we no longer see their value. Those girls don't understand the work their parents do in order to afford those expensive purses. All they understand is that they'll get another one. Now, don't get me wrong, I love these Coach purses. But I'm not exactly made of money either. I'm a student after all, I can barely afford cereal. But the point is that when I turned 20, my boyfriend went and bought me a very small Coach purse, not obnoxious, not crazy. And I absolutely love and cherish it. Why? Because it means something to me, and I understand it's value. Does it make me happy, yes...but for different reasons other than just having it. Someone I love bought it for me, and I cherish it's value. And I only have ONE. Not one hundred.

It's refreshing to hear someone like yourself at your age talking about helping the poor and wanting to donate your money. It's very admirable. But you will find a lot of people who won't understand you. Please, don't listen to them. You'll find yourself going against the status quo. There's nothing wrong with that!

@cabinet 70

Thank you very much :)

@pringletot

I wasn't suggesting that those who do have should feel ashamed for having what they have. If hardworking parents have spent their lives working hard to provide for their children, I'm all for it. I'm not saying we should never enjoy luxuries now and again. It's nice to go on vacation. All I'm saying is that in a time of crisis like this, it's a little ignorant to complain about a life that is so much more well off than others appear to be. It's cool to have money and be successful, but at the end of the day, does one truly know what happiness is? Will buying 5 houses really make you happy? Or will finding someone to share your life with make you happy? Will having a child make you happy? I'm saying the consumer society has warped our ideals about products, consumerism, our self images, and happiness. That guy from the original poster's story was an insensitive ass, who deserves to lose what he has because he doesn't seem to appreciate it.

@cabinet70

I stand corrected. You reminded me of a point I forgot to mention. You should also be able to set aside money for the future or for emergencies. The point I was trying to make is that if you can satisfy the bare essential needs of yourself and your family, then you're considered a hell of a lot more well off than the majority of this world. I mean, right now we're talking about the economy in America being bad, but what about other 3rd world countries? Places where they can't even afford to put roofs over their heads or food in their mouths? All I'm saying is people who are significantly wealthy (enough to own 5 houses) have NOTHING to complain about when it comes to poverty and economical crisis.

@flikr

lol I try

Honestly, if you have enough money to survive, feed your family, sleep in a warm bed, get to work, and maybe send your kids to school, then you really have nothing to complain about. We're just so brainwashed into thinking that we NEED more material things and possessions to make ourselves happy, that we're constantly obsessing about money. This product will make me prettier, this product will make me more attractive, bigger house means people will see my wealth and know that I'm successful. It's all a tiring game of facades, where there is no real winner except for the industries who gain from our money. Do these things in actuality make us happier? No. I can honestly say a tube of lipstick has never elated me to the point of personal euphoria. And yet I'm conditioned to believe it will. It's all marketing.

That guy is a typical product of the consumer society. We are what we buy. That's the whole purpose behind marketing and publicity. We've been conditioned to think that more material things and more consumption will make us happy, and now that he doesn't have these posessions anymore, it threatens his idea of what happiness is. When in fact, this is a totally redundant and paradoxical statement. So, in times of a crisis such as this, people can only stand to think of themselves and how things will affect their own personal wealth and stability. Now, this would be a normal thought process for someone living a middle to lower class life, or someone below the poverty line, who can't afford to lose their jobs, their homes, their lives. But I think it's just disgusting that through this crisis some people have the nerve to complain as if they've got it all that badly, when in actuality, they make up the 5% of the world's wealth. I sincerely hope that man loses all 5 of his houses (who really needs that many?) and his wife leaves him (god forbid he should have to make his own food... oh lord no) and learn what life really is about.

Well, I don't know if you watched the Sex and the City series at all when it was on (or even if you haven't), but watch the first episode of the first season. The character they talk about goes through this exact thing. The truth is, we may never know why men do what they do. We may never know why they appear so interested and affectionate one minute, then distant and cold a minute later. And in reality, there's no difinitive answer anyone on here can give you. Sure, I could give you my personal opinion, or give suggestions or ideas, but at the end of the day, the reasons don't quite matter. What matters is that you need to accept he's made his decision (for whatever reason) and you need to move on. Don't get caught up on his reasons, because chances are, you'll never find out why he did that. Unless you were to chase him down and force him to tell you. But that wouldn't be in your best interest. Just be glad he never went so far as to sleep with you, or much worse, meet your kids, and cut your losses. Atleast you didn't put in a hell of a lot more effort. Who knows how much more of a disappointment this could have been a few years down the road. Find someone better for you hun, someone who will appreciate you and respect you, and someone who actually deserves your time. Nobody who is worth spending time with would do what this guy has done. Best advice? Forget him, and find someone truly special.